


Until the Very End

by cherryblossomphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter References, M/M, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-03-23 13:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3770158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryblossomphil/pseuds/cherryblossomphil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>seven snapshots from Dan and Phil’s time at Hogwarts, year by year</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train lurches violently and Dan sucks in a breath. He clenches his teeth together and exhales slowly. No one warned him about getting motion sickness on the Hogwarts Express.

The train lurches violently and Dan sucks in a breath. He clenches his teeth together. No one warned him about getting motion sickness on the Hogwarts Express.

He’s excited, of course. Who wouldn’t be? His parents had been telling him about Hogwarts since before he could remember, reminiscing about their own memories on campus. They made it sound wonderful, an ethereal place where he’d learn how to harness the magic he could feel flowing through his veins. Dan had been waiting for this day since he first realized his powers, back when he had accidentally animated his toys at the age of five. His parents had been thrilled, but later told him that they weren’t surprised; Mr. and Ms. Howell had been top of their class during their time, and it was clear that they had passed on their magical abilities to their son. They told him to expect the letter as soon as he turned 11; in fact, they added, it was quite possible that the school had kept an eye on him since his birth. Legacies always had an advantage.

Still, guaranteed admission hadn’t diminished the rush of joy Dan felt when he ripped the letter open last July, the school’s scarlet emblem waxy underneath his fingers. His dad had grinned at him and ruffled his hair in excitement. His mom had made celebratory pancakes for breakfast. The following two months had been a whirlwind of wand-shopping and robe-fittings and the crucial decision between a cat and an owl (he went for the owl). Come August 31st, his entire being buzzed with excitement.

He couldn’t sleep last night, packing and repacking his trunk three times just to make sure that he wasn’t forgetting anything. The next morning, after a long drive from Wokingham to London and a brief moment of fear when running towards the brick wall onto Platform 9 ¾, he gave his parents a tight hug and boarded the train behind his friends.

But then Dan had to go to the bathroom and split up from the group, only to become horribly lost once the train began to pull out from King’s Cross. He had pressed his face against the window, trying to see his parents one more time, but the platform was packed and the train was slowly gaining speed. He’d caught a glimpse of what might have been his mom’s blue jumper, but he blinked and she was gone.

Dan sighs. It’s been hours since they left the station and he still can’t find his friends anywhere. He’s starting to feel awkward just standing around and he really doesn’t want to look like the hopelessly lost first-year he is, so he pulls himself from the wall and grabs his trunk from beside him. Willing his stomach to settle as another wave of nausea goes through him, he heads down the hallway and enters the first compartment he finds.

It’s packed with people, upperclassmen recounting their summer vacations with animated gestures and loud bouts of laughter. Dan turns to find another place to sit when he catches sight of dark black hair underneath the window, with enough space beside him for another person. He takes a deep breath and decides to make his way over, muttering apologies to the other people in the compartment as he cuts through their group.

Underneath all that hair is a boy with skin so pale, Dan thinks he can see the veins running through his body. He’s sitting crossed-legged on the floor, a thick book open on his lap. Dan drops his trunk on the seat and coughs. The boy’s head shoots up, glasses sliding down his nose, and Dan is momentarily distracted by the blueness of his eyes.

“Um, hi.” Dan smiles slightly. “Mind if I sit there? Everywhere else is full.”

The other boy shrugs, smiling back shyly. “Not at all.” He scoots over so that he’s flush against the seat, and Dan falls beside him, drawing his knees up to his chest.

“I’m Dan, by the way.” He extends his hand. “Dan Howell.”

“Phil Lester.” They shake. “I like your hair.”

Dan self-consciously reaches up to touch his curls, brushing them out of his eyes. “Thanks, I guess? That’s a bit of a weird thing to say.”

Phil colors slightly. “Sorry, it just kinda slipped out. Probably because of this,” He holds up his book. Dan sees the etchings of a mountain on the cover underneath an ornately-decorated title written in silver: The Hobbit. “Your hair is how I always imagined the main character’s hair would look like.”

“Oh, haha, that’s okay then.” Dan chuckles, and Phil visibly relaxes. “I’ve never heard of that book. Is that the new one by Gilderoy Lockhart?”

“No, it’s by J.R.R Tolkien. You’ve never heard of it? It’s quite popular.”

“Never heard of that guy. S’he famous for something? Create a new spell?”

“Oh!” Phil’s eyes widen and he slaps himself lightly on the forehead. “Sorry, I forgot. He’s not a wizard, he’s a… umm… ugh, I forgot what you lot call us-“

Dan looks at him in surprise. “Oh, are you a muggle?”

“Yes, that’s it! A muggle!” Phil smiles triumphantly at recognizing the word, but his face falls slightly at Dan’s question. “And, umm… yeah, I am.” He pushes his glasses back up his nose again and squirms in his seat. Dan notices that he’s discreetly pressing himself against the wall even more, as if he were trying to hide. “Why, is that – is that bad?”

“No, not at all!” Dan replies quickly, hoping he didn’t offend his new friend. “Just didn’t expect it, that’s all. I’ve got nothing against muggles.” And he didn’t, honest. His parents weren’t the type to judge others based on lineage, an outlook they taught to Dan. Their family blood was pure, and his relatives had been part of the Slytherin House for centuries, but prejudice wasn’t tolerated within the Howell household.

“Oh, okay…” Phil resumes his original position and laughs quietly. “Yeah, no one in my family expected a bloody owl to come crashing through my bedroom window to tell me I’m a wizard. Bit of a shock, it was. It’s kinda cool that the school sent someone to explain it all to us. Never would’ve known where to get all my school supplies from if they hadn’t.”

The train jolts as it makes a sharp right and Dan jumps, his position on the floor making every jostle more prominent. Phil raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t question him. “So, yeah, my parents bought me this book as a present, probably because Gandalf the Grey is the only thing they can associate with wizardry and magic right now. Plus, it’s one of my favorites.”

Phil flips his fringe out of his face, and Dan laughs despite his lingering queasiness. “You look like a dog trying to get water out of his ears.”

“That’s not very nice!” But Phil’s laughing too, leaning towards him and shoving lightly at his shoulder. The two fall into comfortable silence, Phil reading his book and Dan vaguely listening to the conversations of the upperclassmen sitting across from them. Tree branches thwack against the window as the train chugs past, and Dan flinches at the sound.

The other boy glances up at him while turning a page. “Alright there?”

“Yeah…” Dan answers. “Motion sickness, s’all. Apologies in advance if I projectile vomit on you.”

Phil winces at the thought but doesn’t move away. “Apology accepted in advance. But try not to, mate, okay?”

“No promises.” Dan swallows thickly and tries to think of something to say that can distract him from the feeling of the ground moving underneath him at a dizzying speed. “You nervous?”

“About you potentially vomiting on me? Yeah, a little bit.”

“No, you spoon. About going to Hogwarts. Y’know, getting sorted, standing in front of all those people.” Phil looks up thoughtfully, then closes his book. He turns his body so that he’s facing Dan properly, leaning against the seat and stretching his legs out. Dan moves to accommodate him, adjusting so that his knees are drawn up above Phil’s legs like a bridge. He briefly contemplates on how comfortable he feels talking to a stranger he’d met only moments before, but pushes the thought out of his mind when Phil opens his mouth.

“Not really, no. I mean, I guess it’ll be pretty nerve-wracking at first. But I never in my life dreamed I’d be on my way to a magic school, full of magical people, to learn magic things. I’m still pinching myself and hoping I’m not in some fantastic dream, because waking up from this would suck big time. So I guess the excitement of it all outweighs the nerves. ” He reaches out and nudges Dan’s side, chuckling when it makes the other boy squirm. “What about you?”

Dan bites the inside of his cheek. He’s been looking forward to going to Hogwarts since he was a little kid. His parents have told him enough stories and anecdotes that he’s almost willing to bet that he can navigate the school without a map. He’s friends with enough of the other first years and a few older students to ensure that he won’t be sitting alone at lunch or partner-less during class. He really has nothing to worry about.

But he still is. Worried that he won’t live up to the expectations his parents have set. Worried that he’ll get sorted into a house other than Slytherin, and will have to face his family’s questions come Christmas. Worried that he’ll find himself lost and lonely, abandoned by his friends much like they’d ditched him on the train a few hours ago.

Phil sees the trepidation on Dan’s face and nudges him again, knocking him out of his thoughts. “Hey, don’t worry,” he smiles. “If you’re nervous about the Sorting, I can stand by you, if you want.”

Dan almost says no, thanks, he and his friends had plans to stand together by the Slytherin table so they could check out the fit upperclassmen, but the expression on Phil’s face is earnest and open and Dan can’t help but smile back. “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks.”

“Hey, head’s up, first years!” Both boys turn to see one of the older students sharing their compartment looking at them while rummaging through his trunk. Dan notes that all the upperclassmen are doing the same thing, pulling out white dress shirts and black robes. “We’re arriving in about an hour,” he continues, taking out a pair of pants. “Might wanna go get changed into your uniforms.”

Dan and Phil spring up, muttering their thanks. They open their respective trunks, backs turned to each other, when the train shudders violently. Dan is nearly thrown off-balance, clutching at the white shirt he’d just picked up. His stomach churns and he clamps his mouth together, breathing heavily.

A pair of hands grab his shoulders, spinning him around carefully. It’s Phil. “Dan? Dan, it’s alright,” The other boy reaches up to push Dan’s hair back, and Dan’s surprised at how comforting it feels. “Just take some deep breaths, c’mon…”

Phil stands with him, breathing in and out slowly until Dan feels well enough to match his movements. Slowly, he loosens his jaw and sighs in relief. Phil smiles at him as he pulls away.

“Hey, good job on not vomiting!”

Dan laughs softly, swatting him on the arm. “Shut up.” He turns around and grabs his uniform, slinging his black slacks over his shoulder and bundling up his robes under his arm. Looking up, he sees that the other occupants of the compartment have begun to disrobe, boys and girls alike taking of their street clothes to change into their school ones. He flushes and glances behind him to see Phil wearing a similar expression of discomfort.

“I think I’m gonna go change in the bathroom,” Dan mumbles. Phil catches his eye and nods.

“Good idea. Let’s go.”

They grab the rest of their things and make their way to the door, keeping their eyes on the ground. As Dan flips the latch and slides the door open, the train jolts once more, leaving him gripping the door frame. He sucks in a deep breath and swallows thickly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Phil standing beside him, eyes filled with concern.

“You gonna be okay?”

Dan looks at him. They’d met merely hours ago, and already Phil had shown more kindness towards Dan than any other friend he’d made in his life. Maybe it was a good thing that he’d gotten lost on the train earlier.

Outside the window, he sees the castle rising above the tree tops, its bright lights illuminating the dark sky. The nerves he had felt earlier melt away into pure excitement; he can’t wait to get there. He turns towards Phil and smiles widely. The other boy smiles back.

“Yeah. I’m gonna be okay.”


	2. Second Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Great observation, Chris, wow,” Dan supplies from behind him. Phil turns to see him glaring at the other boy, eyes dark with annoyance. “Made any more? D’you notice the sky was blue? How about the fact that you’re being an absolute prick?”
> 
> The Gryffindor’s eyes narrow. “Well, you’re one to talk, seeing how you’re the one Phil should be afraid of.”
> 
> Phil feels his best friend freeze beside him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think it is, y’reckon?”

The four of them sit underneath the aging willow located behind the Quidditch field, their designated spot since first year. A gust of wind blows past, ruffling Phil’s fringe, and he fixes it absentmindedly. Classes have been canceled for the rest of the day in light of Colin Creevey’s petrification, and the air around the castle is uneasy. Students and teachers have been walking the halls with trepidation, the constant paranoia making Phil’s head hurt. He was glad when Chris had suggested going outside; he hoped it would clear his mind.

Only Chris is babbling too loudly for any peace to come along, and it’s just made his headache worse.

“Oi, you didn’t answer!” Hanging loosely on a willow branch, Chris nudges at Phil with his feet. “What do you think it is?”

From his seat at the base of the tree, Phil huffs. “I don’t know. Probably something that’s been locked under the school for ages.” Beside him, Dan nods in agreement, drawing pictures in the air with his wand. The sparks he’s producing magically come together to form a decent centaur. Phil’s impressed.

Chris grins wildly, swinging his legs. “I bet it’s a huge, fire-breathing dragon. Or a five-headed lion. Or a giant goose.”

“Don’t be daft,” PJ mutters, turning the page of his Potions book. He’s sitting on the other side of Phil, tongue between his teeth as he studies. “McGonagall told us that the Chamber was created by Slytherin.”

Chris scowls at him. “So?”

“ _So_ ,” PJ scribbles a few notes into the margins of the book. “The monster has to be a snake. Obviously.” Another gust of wind brushes his blue tie against the page, and he tuts as the ink smears.

Chris makes a face, letting go of the branch to squat in front of his friends. “ _Obviously_ , pfft. Just because you’re in Ravenclaw doesn’t mean you get to be a smart-arse.”

“Well, just because you’re in Gryffindor doesn’t mean you get to be an arrogant twat.”

“Why, you little-“

Phil leans against the tree trunk as his friends swat at each other. He looks over at Dan, but the other boy is staring at the ground, worrying his lip between his teeth. Phil knows what he’s thinking about; out of all of them, Dan had been the one to see Collin’s body, lying flat on the floor while Madame Pomphrey and the other professors tried to hurry the students away. Dan had come running to Phil’s room, entering the Hufflepuff common room with ease due to his frequent visits. Phil remembers the fear he saw in his best friend’s eyes and swallows thickly. He was scared. They all were.

“-just Phil, honestly.”

“Sorry?” Phil starts, pulled out of his thoughts at the mention of his name. Beside him, Chris and PJ have stopped arguing, and the Gryffindor is smirking at him widely.  “What was that?”

Chris shrugs, reclining onto his forearms. “I’m just saying,” he replies, glancing up at PJ. Phil doesn’t miss the warning look the Ravenclaw shoots the other boy. “You might wanna be careful, Phil.”

“Why’s that, then?”

“Well, you know… because you’re a Muggle.”

Phil gapes at him, shocked at the underlying threat behind his friend’s comment. Of course he knew he had to be careful. He’d known since Professor McGonagall had told them the story of the Chamber that he was a target. Already people were starting to treat muggleborns as outcasts, treading around them carefully as if they were a bomb about to explode. The headmaster had called them all into his office and advised them to be careful, what with the strong prejudice against non-magic blood the heir of Slytherin was bound to have. It set Phil on edge; he wasn’t fond of feeling like he was being watched. And he didn’t like being reminded of the fact that he was being watched.

“Great observation, Chris, wow,” Dan supplies from behind him. Phil turns to see him glaring at the other boy, eyes dark with annoyance. “Made any more? D’you notice the sky was blue? How about the fact that you’re being an absolute prick?”

The Gryffindor’s eyes narrow. “Well, you’re one to talk, seeing how  _you’re_  the one Phil should be afraid of.”

Phil feels his best friend freeze beside him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Chris, relax…” PJ mutters softly, but the other boy doesn’t listen, pointing a finger accusingly at Dan.

“You’re the one in Slytherin, yeah? Who’s to say  _you’re_  not the heir of ol’ Sally?”

“You know he’s not,” Phil interrupts crossly. “Don’t be an idiot.” He glances back at his best friend, heart sinking at the redness of Dan’s face.

Their house placements had always been a touchy subject in their friendship. Dan’s entire family was Slytherin, a fact that he was justly proud of. It made being friends difficult, though; the Slytherin house was the most tribal out of the four, and very rarely did they interact with the other houses, especially the Hufflepuffs. Phil had gotten more than a few dirty looks the first time he came to hang out in Dan’s dorm, but the two had vowed not to let their placements get between them. Since their first meeting on the train, the pair had been inseparable, and by now almost everyone in the school had grown accustomed to seeing the pair of second years roaming the halls, yellow and green ties hanging loose around their necks.

“You don’t know that, Phil, he very well could be.” Chris chuckles under his breath. “You better watch yourself, mate, or Dan might come grab you during the night and offer you up to the monster himself. Or any of us, for that matter – maybe we should stay our distance, huh, Dan? Don’t wanna end up like Cree-“

Dan shoots up from his seat on the ground, his hands balled into fists. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come. Phil can see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“Dan-” he reaches out to grab his hand, but before he can, the Slytherin turns abruptly, running towards the castle.

“Dan, wait!”

Phil scrambles to his feet, shooting PJ and Chris a dirty look. “What the hell was that for!?”

PJ raises his hands in defense. “It was all him, mate. Not me!”

“I was just messing around!” Chris replies indignantly. “Jeez, no need to be so touchy…”

The Hufflepuff shakes his head ruefully before running after Dan. He bolts past the Quidditch field, past the Herbology room, and past Hagrid’s hut when he sees a flash of curly brown hair dart into the courtyard. Panting for breath, Phil makes his way over, slowing to a stop at the sight of his best friend.

Dan sits in the courtyard, tucked away on one of the stone windowsills with his knees pressed against his chest. The Slytherin’s face is buried into his hands. Phil can hear him sniffling.

Cautiously, he approaches him, stopping short a few feet away. “Dan?”

The other boy lets out a shuddering sigh and looks up, pulling the sleeve of his robe across his face to dry his tears. He catches Phil’s eye and lets out a short, mirthless laugh. “Chris can be a real twat sometimes, yeah?”

Phil cracks a weak smile. “Yeah. But what else is new?” He motions for Dan to scoot over then climbs onto the windowsill, pressing close to his best friend. He draws his knees into his chest and leans his chin on them, regarding Dan sympathetically. “You alright?”

Dan sniffles, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, it’s just…” he pauses, sucking in a breath. “I’m scared.”

“Of the monster? Pretty sure we all are, it’s okay.”

Dan shakes his head vehemently. “No it’s not that, I…” The Slytherin swallows and looks at Phil, fresh tears brimming. “I’m scare for  _you_. I don’t want to lose you.”

Phil furrows his brow, smiling in confusion. “Wha- lose me? What are you on about?”

“Phil, don't you understand?” Dan grabs at his arm desperately, eyes wide with fear. “You're in danger! All those messages on the wall, written in blood? Mrs. Norris getting attacked, and now that first-year Gryffindor? You’ve heard what everyone’s been saying! They think it’s attacking Muggles! And now, what with all those rumors about the heir of the Chamber being from Slytherin…” His voice cracks on the last word and he sniffles once more and releases his best friend’s arm, shrinking into himself. “Maybe it’d be best if you stayed away from me…”

Phil’s mouth drops open. “What? No, Dan, c’mon…” He grabs the other boy’s wrist, pulling him closer even as he resisted. “Look,” he starts, staring straight into Dan’s eyes. A few brown curls hang in his face, and the Hufflepuff reaches out unconsciously to brush them back. “Nothing’s gonna happen, okay? I’m perfectly safe. Dumbledore’s gonna get it all sorted and everything’s gonna go back to normal, and you’ll be so embarrassed by how silly you’re being right now.”

“S’not silly,” Dan mumbles crossly under his breath, but his mouth starts to curve upwards anyway. “But what about what Chris said-“

Phil rolls his eyes. “Don’t listen to Chris, he’s just being rude. As if you could be the heir of Slytherin - you don’t even like snakes, remember? I’ll talk to him, make sure he knows he was out of line. But listen, he’s not going anywhere, Peej isn’t going anywhere, and  _I_  am most definitely not going anywhere. I’m not gonna leave just because you wear too much green.” He ruffles Dan’s hair affectionately, laughing when the other boy bats his hand away. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, Howell.”

The Hufflepuff pulls his best friend in for a side hug, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "It's all gonna be okay."

"Promise?" Dan's looking up at him, worry still etched across his face.

 

"Promise." Without thinking, Phil leans down to press a soft kiss to the top of Dan's head. He freezes in fear after realizing what he’s done, the movement seeming so natural to him that he didn't even think of how intimate it might come across. Phil makes to move away, a slew of apologies already on his lips, but Dan snuggles in closer, resting an arm against his stomach. The beating of Phil’s heart returns to a normal pace and he lets out a small sigh of relief, settling against the stone wall and waiting for Dan’s sniffles to subside.

The sun begins to disappear behind the edge of the Forbidden Forest, bathing the courtyard in orange light. Somewhere in the distance, a bell tower chimes seven. A swarm of black crows erupt from their nest at the sound, and Phil remembers the announcement Professor Lockhart had made earlier in class.

He watches the birds fly into the evening before patting Dan’s back. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late for dueling club.” He hops off the windowsill and extends a hand towards his best friend, who takes it and clambers off as well.

The Hufflepuff pulls his hand free and makes for the castle entrance, but warm fingers close over his once more.

“Wha-?” Phil turns in surprise to see Dan staring at him shyly, their locked hands held out between them. The Slytherin bites his lip and looks down.

“... Umm... Salazar Slytherin created the Chamber, right?”

Phil cocks an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“...He probably controls the monster down there, too, yeah?”

“Probably.”

“So he probably won’t make it attack me, then, seeing as I’m in his house and all.”

The Hufflepuff frowns. “Err, yeah, I guess. Dan, what are you-“

“Maybe you- ” Dan interrupts, looking up suddenly. “- I mean, perhaps it might be a good idea to... I think you should stay close to me. For protection, and all. That monster won’t even dare to go near you if you have a Slytherin around, right?” He shrugs. “Maybe. Probably.”

Phil looks at his best friend in surprise. He glances down at their joined hands and smiles, adjusting his grip so that their fingers intertwine. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dan grin, dimple popping out.

“Well, come on then,” he chuckles, looking up at the other boy and squeezing his hand. “Lead the way.”


	3. Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil laughs, his tongue peeking out from between his teeth. Dan’s heart swells. “That’s such a strange thing to be scared of, though! Daniel Howell, wizard extraordinaire, so terrified of tiny little insects that he faints at the sight of them – oh, sorry, I mean passes out.”

Dan has it bad. That much is obvious.

Sometimes he’ll find himself staring at Phil from across the classroom, heart skipping a beat when the Hufflepuff would catch his eye and smile back. Or they’ll be walking through the halls, pressed together by the throng of people around them, and he’ll feel his fingers tingle every time they brushed hands. Dan isn’t stupid; he knows what was going on. Knows that this was the sort of thing his mother had talked about whenever she would tell him the story of how his parents met. Knows that this what was PJ had described when he’d first told them about that 2nd year Gryffindor with the curly brown hair and pretty smile he’d met in the library one day.

But he didn’t understand. He’s liked girls all his life, even had a few girlfriends (if you could call the few girls he kissed as a cheeky ten year old that). And it’s not like he’d woken up one morning and saw Phil differently. Phil was still… Phil. Still the shy little boy from the train who likes to read and laughs at all of Dan’s jokes. Still the guy that rolls his eyes exasperatedly whenever Dan complains about school and calls him a twat whenever he gets particularly annoying. Still the best friend that Dan plays pranks on their friends and has 2am discussions with about the most meaningless things they can think of. Nothing had changed. And yet, everything had.

It’s the way Phil always looks out for him. Makes sure he eats between classes and gets enough sleep (because Lord knows he forgets to do both, sometimes). The way he can tell when Dan’s having a bad day, and the way he knows exactly what to say to make him feel better. It’s the way that Phil’s the best friend Dan has ever had, and he can’t even fathom what it would be like if Phil wasn’t in his life. And that’s why Dan keeps it quiet, shoving his emotions down his throat so that it won’t threaten the friendship they’ve built. Over the course of three years, they had become two halves of one whole. It was just now that Dan was beginning to realize just how much he cared for him.

He doesn’t know when he started feeling differently towards Phil. All he knows is that the Hufflepuff’s constant fringe flicks seem more endearing than they used to, his laughs more infectious. Dan wakes up every morning looking forward to seeing him at breakfast, and hates having to leave him after nightfall. More often than not, he’ll find himself entranced by the blueness of Phil’s eyes, the broadness of his shoulders, the peek of a red tongue behind equally red lips….

“- just say  _Riddikulus_ , and it should go away.” Phil glances over at him, eyebrows raising at the glazed expression on Dan’s face. He rubs at his best friend’s side to get his attention. “…Dan?”

The Slytherin jolts out of his thoughts, blinking rapidly. They’re walking down the corridor, Phil’s arm around Dan’s waist. Dan feels his face heat up. He’s vaguely aware that his mouth has been hanging open. “Err, yeah?”  He snaps his jaw shut and clears his throat awkwardly. “Sorry, must’ve zoned out…”

“That smash to the head still getting the best of you, huh?” Phil teases, hip checking his best friend. Dan blushes even harder but tries to cover it up with an irritated expression.

“Phil, I can walk by myself, you know.”

“No, you can’t. You nearly fell flat on your face getting out of the hospital cot. One fainting spell is bad enough, let’s not make it two.” Phil tightens his grip, and Dan swallows thickly. He knows it’s just Phil being a good friend, just Phil wanting to make sure he didn’t fall and crack his head open, but Dan can’t help but lean into his touch.

It was embarrassing to say the least. That morning had been their first lesson with the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, a waifish-looking man who turned out to be much cooler than any of them had expected and quickly introduced them to the boggart - nasty little creatures that took the form of a person’s worst nightmare. Dan had been a little apprehensive but took it in stride, mentally preparing himself for the creature he knew would pop out of the wardrobe come his turn. He’d paid no attention to the slew of mummies and vampires and zombies that had crawled from the cupboard - those were  _nothing_. But then Zoey Sugg just  _had_  to go right before him and conjure up a giant moth big enough to eat him and his entire family. The entire room screamed with fright. He’d caught sight of its beady black eyes and felt the floor tilt, collapsing the ground.

“Okay, but that first time was literally not my fault,” Dan argues, pressing closer to Phil. Just because he can. “How was I supposed to know that Zoey would pull that thing out of the wardrobe? If anything, this is  _her_  fault.”

“ _Her_  fault that  _you_  fainted.” Phil deadpans, cocking an eyebrow.

“Stop saying faint, it makes me sound like some sort of damsel in distress. I… passed out.”

“…over a moth.”

“A  _giant_  moth, Phil.”

Phil laughs, his tongue peeking out from between his teeth. Dan’s heart swells. “That’s such a strange thing to be scared of, though! Daniel Howell, wizard extraordinaire, so terrified of tiny little insects that he faints at the sight of them – oh, sorry, I mean  _passes out_.”

“She should’ve given me a bloody warning, at least.  _“Oh, hey, Dan just a head’s up – my biggest fear is the scariest animal on the face of the planet. What, we have the same fear? Oh my god, we’re practically twins!”_ ”

Phil snorts. “Warning or not, I’m pretty sure you would’ve still collapsed to the floor. Might’ve given me more time to catch you though – thank god Jack was there, at least.”

Dan’s jaw clenches at the name. Jack Howard is Phil’s new friend, a fellow Hufflepuff assigned to be his roommate for the year. Blond and bespectacled, the two hit it off quickly after discovering their shared Muggleborn status and mutual love for Spiderman comics. It was a fast friendship, almost rivaling Dan and Phil’s.

Jack’s alright – nerdy, outspoken. Used a bit too much product in his hair, in Dan’s opinion. Bit of a smart-ass. Obnoxious. And he spent way too much time with Phil for Dan’s liking.

Not that Dan’s jealous. Not at all.

Jack was just… always  _there_. Sitting next to Phil in the Great Hall when Dan comes down for breakfast. Partnering up with him during Potions before Dan can even call him over. Hanging around Phil’s dorm when all Dan wants to do is hang out with his best friend in peace.

(Granted, it’s Jack’s room, too. But still. The guy could at least take the glares Dan sends him daily as a hint to leave.)

“Yeah, thank god for Jack,” Dan finally replies. Phil doesn’t seem to notice the tightness in his voice. “Phil, where are we going?”

The corridor is deserted, not a student or teacher in sight. Dan can hear the dull roar of conversation below them. There's a Quidditch match scheduled for the afternoon – Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor – and the entire school is in the Great Hall for the usual pre-match feast.

“We’re going back to Professor Lupin’s room,” Phil replies. They reach the end of the corridor and turn right, the Hufflepuff guiding Dan’s body by the waist.  “You were too busy fainting-“

“ _Passing out_ -“

“- to learn the lesson and we have a practical exam over it tomorrow, so Lupin said you could come take your turn before the match.”

“Ugh, do I have to?” Dan groans. “Can’t I just practice later? I can do it when we go back to your room to study.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure, let me just pull my personal boggart out from the trunk.”

“We’re not gonna get good seats if we don’t go down there now. And you know Peej will kill us if we aren’t there to act as his personal hype team.”

“Look, it won’t take long. Just go in there, turn your terrifying little insect into a less terrifying little kite, then we can go down to the field.”

“…Alright,” Dan concedes. “But only if we stop by the Great Hall to grab some treacle tart.”

“Deal.”

The two of them reach the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, tucked away beside the entrance to the dungeons. Phil removes his hand from Dan’s waist to knock, and Dan instantly misses the warmth.

“Professor?” When no one answers, Phil looks over at his best friend and shrugs.

“Well, we tried. Let’s go!” Dan turns around, but the Hufflepuff grabs him by the back of his robes.

“Not so fast. C’mon…” He pushes the door open and drags Dan inside. The classroom is completely empty, save for the massive dark wood wardrobe that still stands in the middle of the room from earlier that day. Phil lets go of Dan’s robes and sighs.

“Okay, wait here. I’m gonna go find Lupin.”

“Phil, the match –“

“I know, I know. 2 seconds, tops!” The Hufflepuff exits the room, shutting the door behind him with a click.

Dan sighs, the sound magnified by the emptiness of the room. He walks over to one of the desks and sits down, staring at the wardrobe with apprehension. The cabinet rattles slightly, and he grimaces.

A roar of laughter catches his attention. Dan stands up and makes his way to the window. A sea of students are making their way to the Quidditch field, banners of blue and red waving in the breeze. The match will be starting soon, and Phil has literally just left.

The Slytherin bites his lip and looks back at the wardrobe with dread. He really doesn’t want to face that moth alone. But the match will begin any minute and their friends expect them to be there…

Reluctantly, Dan pulls himself away from the window and moves to stand in front of the cabinet. He gulps, trying to remember what Professor Lupin had taught them earlier that day.

“Okay, Dan…” He whispers. His palms are sweaty. ”You got this. Moth to kite, moth to kite….”

He pulls his wand out and takes his stance. Taking a deep breath, he points towards the wardrobe.  _“Alohamora!”_

The cupboard doors swing open slowly. Dan holds his breath. Suddenly, a loud buzzing sound fills the air,the sound so grating that the Slytherin covers his ears. His eyes widen as giant moth flies out of the depths of the wardrobe. It’s huge - bigger than the one Zoey conjured up, by far.  It circles the room, the brown spots on its wings staring down at Dan like two humongous eyes. He doesn’t know what to do – his mouth has gone dry, he’s shaking. The insect makes a sharp turn and nosedives straight towards him. Dan can see his reflection in its eyes.

“ _Ri-Riddikulus!”_

A loud crack echoes through the room. The moth recoils, writhing in pain. It buzzes angrily, moving towards Dan again, when the insect halts to a stop and begins to spin. Dan watches it gain speed, gasping as it transforms before his eyes.

In a blur, the moth is gone replaced by another creature that falls to the floor with a  _thud_.  It’s a young girl- pale, almost translucent skin and tangled black hair. It glances up at Dan, eyes blood red, and he jumps back in alarm.

“What the hell?”

The girl smiles toothily, sharp canines protruding from her mouth, and she lunges towards him, crawling on the ground at inhumane speeds. Dan stumbles backwards, wand pointed.

“OH MY GO-  _Riddikulus_!”

Another crack, and the girl transforms into a giant tree, its trunk contorted in the shape of a growling face and its long branches reaching out to grab Dan.

“AHH!!  _Riddikulus!_ ”

The Slytherin closes his eyes, his body cringing in terror in anticipation for what’s to come, but he’s met with silence. Dan swallows thickly and cracks open an eyelid.

“Wha-“

Standing in front of him is Phil, a sad, almost pitying look on his face.

“Phil-“

“You like me?” Dan’s heart flies into his throat. When did Phil get back? How did he know?

“Phil, it’s not – I don’t know, I’m –“  He’s stuttering, hands dropping limply to his sides,  wand clattering to the ground. Phil shakes his head at him sadly, and looks away. Dan reaches out to touch him, but suddenly Phil’s laughing. The sound is menacing, a far cry from the warmth of his usual laugh, and Dan freezes.

“Phil?”

“Oh my god, you poor sod!” Phil screeches. His blue eyes look like ice as he throws his head back and laughs harder. “You like me? Oh, that’s rich. As if I’d ever go for a guy like you! I barely tolerate you as a friend, as it is. Why do you think I’ve been hanging out with Jack so much? He may not be the brightest, but at least he’s easy on the eyes. And now you want  _me_  to snog  _you_? Aww, poor Danny’s getting rejected, how sad.”

Dan recoils like he’s been slapped. That’s not Phil. He knows it’s not Phil – his Phil would never say such things. But it looks so much like him; the askew tie, the rumpled dress shirt, the scuffed shoes. Phil’s laughter is ringing in Dan’s ears and he winces in pain.

“You’re... you’re not real...”

The Slythern reaches down to grab his wand, and the monster in front of him stops abruptly. He glares at Dan and sneers. Phil’s face begins to contort, an ugly grimace crossing his features. His hands turn into claws, and he lets out a bloodcurdling shriek.

Dan’s mouth is dry. He can’t breath. “ _Ri… Ri… Ri-“_  The creature snarls, charging towards him. Dan screams and falls to the floor.

“ _Riddikulus!_ ” A voice shouts from behind him.

There’s a loud crack of sound, and the room is silent save for Dan’s  heavy breath. He opening his eyes hesitantly to find the room empty, the wardrobe doors shut once more. No more moth, no more girl, no more tree, no more not-Phil. He sighs in relief, turning around to thank his savior, but freezes in his tracks.

Phil stands at the door. The real Phil, tie askew and rumpled shirt just like the monster. He’s staring at Dan in disbelief, mouth hanging open.

“You like me?”

Dan hisses at the words, scrambling to his feet and pointing his wand towards his best friend. Phil winces apologetically.

“Sorry, that was poor word choice on my part.” He walks into the room, approaching Dan cautiously until the Slytherin slowly puts his wand down.  Phil reaches out to take his hand, but he flinches away.

“Dan-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dan’s face is red. He didn’t mean for this to happen.  He makes his way towards the door, but Phil stops him, grabbing the back of his elbow and turning himaround.

“No, Dan, tell me –“

“Phil, just drop it-“  Stupid boggart, stupid class, stupid Zoey Sugg for putting him in this mess.

“Talk to-“

“No!” He needs to get out of here, needs to calm down, needs to figure out how he’s gonna salvage their friendship.

“Dan!”

“FINE!” Dan yanks his arm from Phil’s grip. The Hufflepuff flinches back in shock. “Okay, yes! I like you, you bloody happy now? I like you, and it’s stupid, and wrong, and I don’t understand it because I’m not even gay – or at least I thought I wasn’t, and now this is gonna ruin our whole friendship-“

“Dan, shut up.” Phil mutters quietly. Dan ignores him.

“- and it’s gonna be all my fault and now you’re just gonna go hang out with Jack bloody Howard all the time and forget about me-”

“Dan. Shut. Up.”

“-and that’s the whole reason I didn’t wanna tell you because I can’t lose you Phil I just ca-  _mmph_!”

Warm lips press against his and Dan gasps. Phil’s lips are chapped. The angle is all wrong. Their noses bump against each other and their teeth knock together, Dan’s neck hurting from straining up to meet Phil’s mouth. It’s by no means a perfect kiss, but it still leaves Dan breathless.

They pull apart, the two of them gasping for air. Dan stares at Phil in disbelief, hand covering his mouth.

“What the hell was that?!”

The Hufflepuff scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “You wouldn’t shut up.”

Dan gapes at him, heart beating out of his chest.They stay like that for a few minutes, both trying to process what just happened. Then Phil shrugs at him sheepishly, a small smile playing at his lips. The sight is so endearing that Dan can’t help but laugh, giggling incredulously at the situation the two of them have found themselves in. The Hufflepuff joins in, and soon they collapse on the floor in  hysterics.

Dan rubs at his eyes after they’ve calmed down, his laughter so strong it caused him to tear up. They’re  lying on the floor beside each other, backs flat against the ground.

“You could’ve told me, you know.” Phil’s looking at him, eyes warm. Dan looks back, smile on his face.

“Yeah? What would you have done if I had told you?”

“Probably would’ve kissed you sooner.” 

Dan snorts, rolling over onto his side.“Yeah, well. You understand why I didn’t.”

“I do.” The Hufflepuff sighs and rolls over as well, staring him straight in the eye. “And I want you to know that if you ever think that you’re gonna lose me again, I have the right to punch you in the arm. Because that’s absolutely ridiculous, and you should know by now that that’ll never happen.”

The Slytherin rolls his eyes. “You can’t say that for sure.”

“I’ve lasted this long, haven’t I?” Dan shoves his shoulder lightly, and he giggles.

“You have to admit, though, this made for a much better story than me just professing my love to you.”

Phil cocks an eyebrow. “You love me? Moving a little fast now, are we?”

 “Don’t be an ass, it just an expression, Phil.” he clarifies. “We’ll cross that bridge if we get there.”

“ _When_  we get there.”

Dan blushes. Outside, a loud buzzer rings. Phil’s eyes widen.

“We missed the match.”

The two of them spring up. “Peej is gonna kill us!” Dan whines, brushing off his clothes. Phil flips his fringe and adjusts his tie.

“Let’s just run to the afterparty and pretend we were there? Chris will cover for us if we bribe him.”

“Okay, but you’re taking care of the bribe this time. My eyebrows still aren’t back to normal from the last time. Let’s go.” Dan turns towards the door, but a hand suddenly grasps his. The Slytherin spins around to find Phil grinning at him cheekily.

“So, uhh... boggarts are pretty scary, right?”

Dan furrows his brow in confusion. He opens his mouth to ask, but realization soon dawns on him. He knows where this is going. “Yeah, they sure are.”

“Especially when they turn into moths, yeah?” Phil winks and Dan snorts with laughter.

“Mhm, absolutely terrifying.”

“Well,” The Hufflepuff intertwines their fingers together and pulls Dan closer, holding their hands to his chest. 

“Maybe I should hold your hand then. You know, just in case any more giant moths come and make you wanna faint again.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “For the last time, I  _passed out_. Ugh, so rude. You need to work on your flirting skills. Four out of ten.”

“What- that was  _your_  line!”

“Points off for plagiarism, then.”

He lets Phil hold his hand anyway.


	4. Fourth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hufflepuff laughs and takes a sip of his drink. Placing his goblet back down, he notices that Dan is staring at him, a faint smile on his lips. Self-consciously, he reaches up to his mouth. “What, have I got the froth mustache now?”
> 
> Dan chuckles, but shakes his head. “Have I told you how good you look tonight yet?”

His boyfriend looks bloody fit in a suit.

Phil can’t help but stare as Dan makes his way towards him, two goblets clutched tightly in his hands. He’s wearing black velvet, perfectly tailored and cut that it accentuates the broadness of his shoulders and chest. His crisp white dress shirt is a stark contrast to the dark green bow tie around his neck; Phil can still feel the satin fabric of it underneath his fingers from when he had helped him tie it earlier in his dorm room. His hair is straightened within an inch of his life - it’s a new look Dan’s taken to after spending the previous summer with Phil and his “muggle hair machines".  His shoes are so shiny, the lights from the chandelier reflect off the surface. 

He looks absolutely breathtaking. Phil still can’t believe that he’s his.

“Can we have a Yule Ball every Friday?” Dan asks as he reaches the table, handing a goblet to Phil and sitting down beside him. “Because I’d like to end every week with unlimited amounts of butterbeer from The Hog’s Head; look, it automatically refills!” He drains his cup and watches with glee as more of the amber liquid magically appears.

Phil laughs at the frothy residue the drink leaves on the Slytherin’s upper lip. “Might wanna take it easy there, it’s only half past seven.” He leans forward to kiss the froth off but catches himself, face centimeters away from Dan’s. Phil feels his cheeks heat up. He quickly retreats and grabs a napkin from the table, pressing it into Dan’s hand.

“Um, you’ve got some drink on your lip.”

Dan, whose eyes had closed when Phil moved toward him, opens them in surprise. “Oh.”

He reaches up to clean himself off. Phil turns away, avoiding the disappointed look on Dan’s face in favor of watching the crowds of students waltzing on the dance floor.

They’re not in the closet, not really. Both of their parents knew; Phil’s mum had guessed it right away after he had asked if Dan could spend the summer with them, and Dan nearly went into shock after his parents assured him that they had no qualms about their relationship. Chris and PJ knew and were happy for them as long as they weren’t “disgustingly nauseating with their PDA like Peej and Sophie are”, according to the Gryffindor (PJ turned his hair bright yellow in retaliation). And Jack knew, but only because of a poorly-timed make-out session in Phil’s room when they thought the rest of the Hufflepuffs were taking a trip down to Hogsmeade. Other than that, though, they didn’t tell a soul.

It’s Phil’s fault, if he’s honest with himself. He really doesn’t know why he’s so hesitant to let the rest of the school know. After all, he and Dan had been overly close since their first year – it wasn’t uncommon of them to hold hands or hug or stand too close. But ever since that day in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom their third year, Phil’s felt like he’s been treated differently. He feels the stares of his fellow classmates when he leans against Dan during lunch. He feels judgment radiating from his housemates when he lets Dan into the Hufflepuff common room. He feels like a target is being painted on his back every time Dan takes his hand in the hallway.

“Hey,” Dan murmurs lowly. Phil turns to see the other boy staring at him, concerned. “You alright?” Scooting closer, the Slytherin grabs his hand underneath the table, thumb stroking his wrist soothingly.

Phil sighs and smiles sadly. “Yeah,” he replies. “It’s just… you know. I’m sorry, I’m the worst-“

“No, stop. It’s okay, I understand.” Dan squeezes his hand and pulls away, moving to rest it on the table. “Did you see Chris and Emma making out behind the Christmas tree?”

“Eww, really? Phil makes a face, but is secretly glad for the change in topic. “Wait, I thought he brought Becca as his date?”

“Exactly.” The Slytherin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Scandal.”

Phil shakes his head. “Dammit, Chris. I bet you 4 Galleons we’ll have to save his sorry arse before the end of the night.”

“Not taking the bet, because you’re probably right.”

The Hufflepuff laughs and takes a sip of his drink. Placing his goblet back down, he notices that Dan is staring at him, a faint smile on his lips. Self-consciously, he reaches up to his mouth. “What, have I got the froth mustache now?”

Dan chuckles, but shakes his head. “Have I told you how good you look tonight yet?”

Phil blushes, but rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” He looks alright; the navy dress robes aren’t as striking as the the ones Dan’s sporting, but they matched nicely with the red bow tie he’d borrowed from Jack, His fringe had not wanted to cooperate with him earlier that evening, though, and he’s had to resist the urge to fix it all night.

“It’s true, though. You look fantastic. Every single person here is crying on the inside because you look so fit.”

“Even you?”

“Even me.”

“Bullshit,” Phil laughs. “You know you look bloody great.”

Dan smiles cheekily. “I do look pretty good in black, don’t I?”

“Better be careful; all the kids who came stag tonight are gonna be lining up to ask you to dance sooner or later.”

“Yeah, well they’ll be sorely disappointed. There’s only one person I’d be interested in dancing with, anyway.”

Dan’s comment is flippant and offhand, but Phil’s heart breaks just the same . He opens his mouth to speak, but Dan just takes another gulp of butterbeer and turns to watch the dancing.

It’s not fair to Dan; he knows this. And he knows that he’s not exactly being the best boyfriend. But he’s scared. Phil knows how people like him are treated in the muggle world, knows that people aren’t as accepting and open-minded as they should be in this day and age. And even though Dan’s reassured him that no one will care, he can’t shake the nagging feeling that coming out will make things worse – not only for him, but for Dan as well. It’s bad enough being a muggleborn whose best friend is a Slytherin – who knows what sort of unwanted attention they’ll attract if they come out as boyfriends?

“I’m sorry.”

“Hmm?” Dan turns to look at him questioningly before his eyes widen in realization. “Oh no, Phil, I didn’t mean anything by that!” He places a hand on the back of Phil’s chair and leans forward, fixing him with a hard stare. “I promise you, I really do understand. And I don’t mind, honest. As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Dan’s eyes soften. “I love you.”

It’s not the first time he’s said it. The first time was during the previous summer while they were lying on Phil’s roof looking at the stars. It had been quiet, a whisper so soft that Phil wasn’t even completely sure of what he’d said at first. It had sent a rush of emotion through Phil’s body, making his heart beat twice as fast and his breath hitch. And now, even after hearing the same phrase countless of times, he still felt his chest constrict at the sincerity of Dan’s words.

“I love you too.” He whispers. Dan smiles and flips his fringe out of his face.

Phil hears the sound of applause and glances towards the dance floor. The waltz has ended, the Triwizard Champions and their friends bowing before heading towards their tables. The rest of the crowd disperses and the floor clears. Over the din, the Hufflepuff hears the faint sound of a new song being played.  Dan perks up.

“Oh, I love this song!” He starts to hum along, tapping his foot to the beat and drumming on the table lightly.

Phil watches him, can’t take his eyes off even as PJ, Chris, and the rest of their friends join them at the table. He’s so beautiful, so good, so  _kind_. He’s the best friend Phil hoped he would find, and the best boyfriend he never thought he’d need. Dan deserves the world, and Phil wants to give it to him – wants to be as confident about their relationship as he is. Because Dan is his boyfriend, dammit. And it’s time the world knows.

The Hufflepuff rises abruptly, pushing his chair back. Dan stops humming and looks at him, confused.

“Phil, what are you-“

Phil takes a deep breath and bows before him, bending deeply at the waist. He hears the rest of Dan’s words die in his throat. Before he can change his mind and let his nerves get the best of him, Phil extends his hand.

“Dance with me?”

The Slytherin’s eyes widen. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. “Are you sure?” he finally asks, voice soft. “We don’t have to, it’s okay…”

Phil can feel the rest of the table staring at them. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Chris and PJ giving him a thumbs up. He swallows his worries down and smiles. “I’m sure. Trust me.” Wiggling his fingers, he lets out a shaky laugh. “I’ve been told I’m a great dancer.”

“By who, your mum?” But Dan’s grabbing his hand, gripping it tightly as he stands up. The contact lights Phil’s skin on fire, and adrenaline courses through his veins. Before he loses his resolve, he guides Dan to the center of the Great Hall, the sound of friends whooping in excitement fueling his actions.

There’s not very many people left on the dance floor, just a few stragglers who eye them in surprise as their take their spots. Phil turns to look at Dan, reaching his hands out to take him in his arms, but his body freezes. He swallows thickly, heart feeling like it’s about to beat out of his chest. The entire Hall is staring at them, the room almost silent, save for the song that’s still mercifully being played by the orchestra. Phil can’t breathe. His head is spinning, his eyes are watering. He doesn’t know what to do.

A pair of hands grabs his, and his vision refocuses. Dan stands in front of him, looking scared but determined. “Hey, look at me. It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here, I’m right here…”

Phil manages to nod, his eyes searching Dan’s face for guidance. Cautiously, the other boy places Phil’s hands to his waist, wrapping his own arm around the Hufflepuff’s neck. Phil can hear the faint gasps of their fellow classmates. He turns to glance at them, but Dan’s pulling at his hair gently, forcing them to lock eyes. He gives him a soft smile and steps closer. Phil’s arms wrap tighter around him on instinct, and he lets out a slow exhale. The music swells, and they start to sway to the beat.

“You alright?” Dan murmurs softly. Phil still feels the eyes of his classmates on his back, but he’s too focused on the way Dan’s hip fits into his palm, the way Dan’s fingers curl into the hair at the nape of his neck. He can smell the cologne Dan’s wearing; can see his own reflection on Dan’s shoes when he glances down.

Phil’s entire being is surrounded by Dan, and right now, he couldn’t care less about what the rest of the school thought about them.  The heavy ball of anxiety that’s been weighing on his chest all year slips away and he smiles, pulling his boyfriend even closer.

“I’m alright. Are you?”

“Never better.”

The song ends, and suddenly the Hall is filled with applause once more. Phil jumps in surprise and looks around. Everyone is staring at them, smiling and clapping. His heart swells and flies into his throat. Dan was right; the muggle world may be more problematic than Phil would like to admit, but he’s at Hogwarts now. Here, he’s safe. Here, he’s accepted.

Phil can’t remember ever being this happy before.

He feels Dan press against his side and he looks down. The Slytherin is smiling, his dimple so prominent that Phil can’t help but lean down and kiss it. The Great Hall whoops even louder, and he laughs. He’s overcome with joy. He’s absolutely elated.

The orchestra strikes up again, and Dan tugs at his hand. “One more dance?”

Phil wraps his arms around his neck. “As many as you want.”


	5. Fifth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil reaches up for another kiss. “Remember that night during the summer before fourth year, when I told you I loved you?”
> 
> Dan smirks. “Remember that same night, when we got back to your room and managed to convince your parents to go out so we could -“
> 
> “DAN!”

Dan’s footsteps echo off the walls as he finishes sealing the door closed, muttering incantations under his breath as faint sparks of light shoot from the end of his wand. He hears the low hum of his charms taking effect, then absolute silence. The Room of Requirement is deafeningly quiet without the rest of Dumbledore’s Army milling around.

It’d been a long day. Umbridge had been ruthless, interrogating any student she could get her hands on about the rumored uprising within the castle walls. And Malfoy and his posse were as active as ever; they now had clearance to storm into classrooms and commons rooms under the guise of searching for clues. Dan had taken to hiding his DA-issued Galleon inside his sock, the cold metal turning uncomfortably warm whenever new meetings were scheduled.

Today’s gathering had been a surprise – Harry had called them in for a lesson on Patronuses, and Dan and the other members were a bit shocked at having to learn something so advanced. The anxiety and tension in the air was obvious. The war was coming, and coming fast. They didn’t have any more time to waste; He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back and building an army, one that could possibly include dementors. They needed to know how to defend themselves.

“Okay, the door’s shut,” He calls, walking to the center of the room and siting down on the cold tile. It’s dark, the dim light of the chandelier not strong enough to illuminate the vast space. He hears faint footsteps coming towards him and suddenly Phil appears out of the shadows, carrying a thick book under his arm and his lit wand in the other hand.

“Look what I found,” he calls, hurrying over to where Dan is. The Hufflepuff kneels beside him and flips the book open, turning to a page covered in tiny, Latin text. Under the weak glow of Phil’s illumination spell, Dan can vaguely make out the blurry illustrations of dementors that decorate the sheet.  “Maybe it can help us.”

“Maybe,” he replies, checking his watch. “But we’ve gotta hurry. Harry said we could use the room for a few more minutes, so long as we locked up and no one catches us leaving. And I’m pretty sure Malfoy plans on coming round in a little bit.”

Patronuses were harder to master than expected, it turns out. Dan had spent the last hour and a half trying to conjure up a decent charm but only managed a few small wisps of grayish light. Phil had done no better, and by the end of the meeting they were the only two unable to produce a proper Patronus.

Phil, ever the dedicated student, had asked to stay behind and get some more practice. And Dan, ever the dedicated boyfriend, decided to stay as well.

Phil bites his lip, but nods. “Hold this, then.” He hands the wand to Dan and turns back to the book. Dan watches as the other boy pushes his glasses up and flicks his fringe out of his face. The Slytherin can’t help but smile – Phil hasn’t changed much since that day on the train.

“So Patronuses,” The Hufflepuff begins, squinting at the text. Dan leans against Phil’s body and reads over his shoulder. “Used to ward off dementors…guards of the Azkaban prison…terrifying creatures, blah blah blah…needs a powerful, happy memory for the charm to work.”

“But we already know that,” Dan interjects, looking up at his boyfriend. “Harry explained that part in class. How come everyone else could make a Patronus, but we couldn't?”

“I dunno,” Phil furrows his brow and flips the page. “Maybe we’re not using strong enough memories? What are you thinking about?”

Dan sighs, pulling away from the Hufflepuff to lie on his back. He crosses his arms beneath his head and stares at the ceiling. “The first time I rode a broomstick,” he replies, glancing back at Phil. “My granddad took me around for a spin when I was about five or six; I remember feeling absolutely ecstatic. It’s one of my earliest memories of him.” Dan nudges at Phil with his toe and gestures for him to lie down beside him. The Hufflepuff rolls his eyes but obliges. “What about you?” He asks.

“Getting my letter from Hogwarts,” Phil answers, rolling over to curl against Dan’s body. He smells of cinnamon and cherries. Dan breathes in deeply. “It’s what Jack and a lot of the other muggleborns used, and it worked alright for them. I dunno why it won’t work for me.”

The Slytherin can hear the pout in his boyfriend’s voice. “Maybe we  _should_  pick a different memory. I mean, they clearly weren’t strong enough, considering we’re still here trying to work it out.”

“I tried,” Phil huffs in annoyance. He reaches over to pick at a loose thread on Dan’s sweater. “But I couldn’t really focus. Too many people talking and freaking out over what animal their Patronus is. Seriously, Zoey wouldn’t bloody shut up about her goddamn guinea pig.”

Dan snorts, presses a chaste kiss to Phil’s temple. “Well, no one’s here now. What other happy memories do you have?”

The two of them fall into a comfortable silence. Dan racks his brain, trying to remember the happier moments of his life. “I have one,” he muses. “Eight years old, summer of 1988. My mum brought my little brother home, and I got to help feed him for the first time.” Dan smiles, remembering tiny hands grabbing at his fingers and nose. “I was so excited, because I finally had someone to talk to during family holidays and whatnot. Didn’t really sink in that he’d be practically useless for the first four years of his life.”

Phil laughs. “Don’t be mean, your brother is adorable.” He snuggles closer, his hair tickling Dan’s chin. “I guess Martyn teaching me how to play the guitar was a pretty good time. I remember he spent the whole day teaching me the chords to some silly little song we’d made up, and our parents made is perform it after dinner. They were so proud of us, we got ice cream afterwards. I think that was the first time Martyn stopped treating me like a nuisance and more like a friend.”

Dan smiles. Phil looked up to his older brother a lot, constantly seeking his approval. “Still remember how the song goes?”

“Pfft, not really. I think it had something to do with octopuses and grape jelly? I wrote it when I was five, it wasn’t exactly poignant.”

Dan snorts with laughter and Phil looks up at him, eyes shining with happiness at the memory. The sight makes Dan’s heart constrict and he leans down to capture his lips in a soft kiss. Phil sighs into his mouth. The feeling triggers another memory in the Slytherin’s mind, and he pulls away.

“Thought of another happy memory.”

“Yeah? Go on, then.”

“Five years ago, on the Hogwarts Express?” Dan smiles as Phil wraps his arms around his body and lays his head on his chest. “There was this adorably shy little boy who kept me company while I tried not to heave my guts out every time the train jolted.”

The Hufflepuff scoffs. “Dan, I do that every year.”

“Yeah,” He concedes. “But that was the  _first_  time. And it was the  _first_  time we talked, and the  _first_  time we laughed, and the  _first_  time I remember thinking how beautiful you are.”

Even in the darkness, Dan knows Phil’s face is reddening. “Well, had I known you’d end up being such a bad influence on me, I might’ve reconsidered letting you sit down. Remember that time in second year when you somehow convinced me to skip Charms in favor of sending Chris fifteen Howlers from fifteen fake girlfriends?”

Dan howls with laughter. “I forgot about that! Serves him right, too – remember how much of a twat he was that year?” He pulls Phil close, burying his face in dark, clean hair. “You can’t forget about third year, though.”

The Hufflepuff hums in acknowledgement, leaning up to look Dan in the eye. Dan can tell Phil’s reliving the memory in his mind. “Remember when Peej asked why our lips were so swollen during the Quidditch afterparty?”

“Haha, yeah. What was our excuse? That Hazel had accidentally hexed us because she was upset that Gryffindor won?”

“Yeah, not our best work, to be honest. I still have no idea how Chris and Peej bought that.”

“They didn’t. They told me last year that they knew all along, but wanted to wait until we brought it up to say anything.”

“Oh. Well, that was nice of them.” Phil reaches up for another kiss. “Remember that night during the summer before fourth year, when I told you I loved you?”

Dan smirks. “Remember that same night, when we got back to your room and managed to convince your parents to go out so we could -“

“DAN!” The Slytherin chuckles as Phil swats him on the chest.

“I was so sore the next morning, oh my god. Are you saying that wasn't a happy memory for you? Because it definitely was for me.”

Phil looks down shyly, trailing his fingers down Dan’s stomach. “It was for me, too.”

“And the time after that, and the time after  _that_ , and the-“

“Okay, that’s enough reminiscing.” Phil says quickly, sitting up. Dan follows, laughter still bubbling in his throat. His boyfriend was so precious sometimes.

The Hufflepuff looks at his watch.  “Shit, it’s been ten minutes already.” He stands and holds his hand out. Dan laces their fingers together and allows himself to be pulled up, grabbing their wands off the floor. “We need to leave soon. Wanna try a Patronus one last time?”

He nods. “Got a new memory picked?”

Phil bites his lip. “I’m not sure which one to choose. Which one are you gonna pick?”

A slew of memories flash in Dan’s mind, playing like a movie only he can see; Phil’s arm on his shoulder, steadying him as the Hogwarts Express shudders and shakes. The two of them racing through the hallways, hand in hand. The feeling of Phil’s fingers on his waist as they fell onto the bed. A nervous waltz followed by tremendous applause.

He smiles. “All of them.”

The Hufflepuff shakes his head fondly, and smiles back. “Yeah. Me too.”

Dan hands him his wand. “You ready?”

Phil nods. Together, they raise their wands to the sky. Dan closes his eyes and thinks of bright blue eyes and chapped lips.

“ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

Two bursts of light shoot through the air. Dan watches his in awe, the gray beams twisting and turning to form a small shape. Beside him, Phil gasps.

“Is that…?”

In front of Dan, made entirely of pure energy, is a white rabbit. It frolics in the air, jumping and skipping around as a trail of light follows its every move. The Slytherin gapes as it hops over to him, twirling around his head. “Is this mine?”

“It must be, because this one’s mine.” Dan glances over to see Phil, his eyes wide. Across from him is a small deer made of the same pure substance. It stands tall, wobbling gently as it walks towards the Hufflepuff and nuzzles into his side.  Phil makes a quiet sound of disbelief, and Dan echoes him.

Suddenly, Dan’s rabbit hops over the other animal. It flits between the deer’s legs, darting around its body and nipping at its heels. Dan watches as Phil’s deer bucks with glee. The two animals race away, trails of light showing their path as they frolic together. A hand wraps around Dan’s waist, and Phil’s hugging him close.

“Looks like they like each other.”

“Yeah,” Dan breathes. It’s absolutely beautiful, their Patronuses basking the room in blinding light. He leans down to kiss Phil’s head. “We did it.”

The Hufflepuff cheers quietly. Dan laughs. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He picks the book up from the floor and places it on a nearby table.  Reaching down, he grabs Phil’s hand and pulls him towards the door. “It’s a bit fitting, your Patronus.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because you’re  _deer_ to me.”

Phil rolls his eyes as Dan lifts the enchantments, opening the door with a soft click. “Never say that again, ever.”

“Sorry, I can’t help but  _fawn_  over you!” Dan cackles, following the other boy out of the room. Behind them, the silver deer curls up on the floor as the rabbit hops over to burrow between its folded legs. The animals nestle together before dissipating into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: in most mythology (or at least the ones that i researched), a deer represents gentleness/ability to move through life and obstacles with grace/being in touch with inner child, innocence/being sensitive and intuitive, while a rabbit represents quick-thinking/intelligence/courage/spontaneity.
> 
> the more you know :)


	6. Sixth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So that’s it, then? We’re done.” Dan’s voice wavers slightly, his eyes red-rimmed. “We’re just gonna throw away six years of friendship?”

It starts raining after the funeral. Phil supposes it’s rather fitting.

He’s sitting on the floor of the Herbology classroom, tucked away between tables of Moondew and Flitterbloom. He’d run there on impulse after the burial, desperate to get away from the crowds of mourners that lined the shore. It was too much for him; too much sadness, too much crying. He can’t handle that right now – not with what he has to do in a little bit. It’s uncomfortably warm inside and he’s pretty sure he’s getting dirt on his black dress robes, but the sound of rain hitting the glass panes is helping numb the ache in his heart so he stays put. Besides, Dan’s coming any minute now. He can’t leave yet.

Hogwarts has been at a standstill since Dumbledore’s death. The air is thick, the halls are silent; it’s as if the castle itself is in mourning, paying its respects to its fallen headmaster. No one’s really sure what’d happened last night; Phil’s heard the rumors, of course, but nothing rings true except the fact that there is dark magic in the air once more. Times are changing. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is coming, and coming fast. And with Dumbledore gone, there’s no one to keep the muggleborns of Hogwarts safe. Phil remembers the shell-shocked look on Potter’s face during the funeral; no one expected this to happen. Now they’re on their own.

And it’s absolutely terrifying.

The Hufflepuff sighs heavily, drawing his knees up to his chest. He’s exhausted, worry and anxiety draining away his energy. He’s in danger – every minute, every hour, every day. It’s the harsh reality he came to terms with the night before, after Professor McGonagall had broken the news of the headmaster’s death. His heart had sunk in his chest, his breath had caught in his throat. From then on, he was a target. And so were anyone he came in contact with.

Which brings him to Dan.

It’s raining harder now, droplets hitting the glass like bullets. Over the sound of the downpour, he hears heavy footsteps outside the greenhouse followed by the muffled yelling of his name. Phil recognizes the voice – would recognize it anywhere – but doesn’t answer. He’s shaking. He doesn’t want to do this. But he has to.

The door opens, letting in a cold spray of rain. From his spot on the floor, Phil can see a pair of shiny leather shoes walk in slowly, hesitantly.

“…Phil?”

The Hufflepuff’s heart constricts. With a thick swallow, he slowly rises from the floor and walks to the center of the room. Standing in the doorframe, soaked to the bone, is Dan. His chestnut hair is plastered to his face, and his dressed robes are completely drenched. He looks miserable, and Phil wants nothing more than to cross the greenhouse and wrap him in a hug, but he restrains himself, balling his hands into tight fists.

Dan notices, frowning. “…What’s going on? I lost you after the funeral, been looking for you for ages until PJ told me to check out here…”

“Um, yeah…” Phil clears his throat. He directs his gaze towards the ground, knowing full well that he’ll lose it once they lock eyes. “Yeah, I told PJ where I’d be.” He sighs. He’s already tearing up. “Dan, listen, I…I need to talk to you.”

The Slytherin’s eyes narrow. “…Okay. Talk.”

Phil’s eyes widen. “I…” His throat is closing up, the painful words he’d rehearsed so carefully in his head fading away. He needs to explain himself, needs to explain why he has to do this. Needs to explain that this is for the safety of both of them.

Reluctantly, he lifts his eyes to meet Dan’s. His stomach sinks as he sees realization dawning on the other boy, who stumbles backwards.

“…Oh my god…you’re not…you’re not serious, right?”

Phil swallows. “Dan, I-“

“I don’t underst- Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you, I swear, it’s-“

“I thought we were fine! We’ve always been fine-“

“ _But it’s not gonna be fine_!” Phil exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. A crash of thunder shakes the room. “In a year, in six months, maybe even less – it’s not gonna be fine!” Dan’s staring at him, a pained look on his face. “You-Know-Who’s back! He’s  _back_ , Dan. And he’s hunting down people like me and  _slaughtering_  them, along with anyone who tries to stand in his way.” He chokes back a sob. “I don’t want – I can’t – I can’t lose you, Dan. Not that way.”

He’s properly crying now, hot tears running down his cheeks. He’s so scared – scared of the war that’s brewing on the horizon, scared for those who are putting their lives on the line. He’s scared for his family, for the danger he’s put them in because of his powers. He’s scared for Jack and the other muggleborns of Hogwarts, those who constantly have to prove that they belong in the wizarding world. He’s scared for Dan, who he knows will do anything and everything to keep Phil safe.

He can’t live knowing that their blood will be on his hands. He has to cut these ties before it’s too late.

“So that’s it, then? We’re done.” Dan’s voice wavers slightly, his eyes red-rimmed. “We’re just gonna throw away six years of friendship?”

Phil sniffles. “You’ll be safer away from me, you know that. You’d be better protected, you’re a Slytherin, you’ve got connections-“

“Yeah, to the  _death eaters_! And I don’t think they’re gonna be too keen on helping out some sixth-year with a muggle boyfriend!”

“It’s not like this is easy for me, either!” Phil whines. “I don’t want to do this!”

“Then  _don’t_! Of all the reasons to break up with me, this is not the one to choose.”

The two of them fall silent. Outside, the rain slows to a steady downpour. The Hufflepuff rubs his eyes wearily, wiping away the tears. His stomach is in knots, his heart hurts. He wants to take it all back, but he can’t. A pair of warm hands close around his, and he jumps in surprise. Slowly, he pulls his hands down to meet Dan’s gaze; the other boy is in a similar state of dismay, brown eyes still brimming with tears. The Slytherin brings their joined hands down in front of them, squeezing them lightly. Phil lets out a shuddering sigh and leans against the other’s body.

“…I just want to keep you safe.”

“And I want to keep  _you_  safe. See, this is why we work well together.”

The Hufflepuff chuckles in spite of himself. “Together,” He repeats.

Dan nudges his cheek with his shoulder. “I mean it. Best friends first, boyfriends second, yeah? Even if you did break up with me, it wouldn’t do you much good. You’d just get a miserable, single sod who’s even more determined to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Oh, joy.” Phil looks up, catching brown eyes with blue. “…I’m sorry. I just…” he huffs out a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I’m scared.”

Dan nods. “I know. Me too.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“Well, that depends. What do  _you_  wanna do?”

Phil bites his lip. You-Know-Who is on the move; there’s no doubt about that. And there’s already been reports of muggleborn wizards disappearing without a trace, their lives taken away because of the blood that runs through their veins. It’s sickening. It’s wrong.

But Potter and his friends are building an army. And they need help.

“I want to fight.”

Dan gives him a watery grin. “Alright, then. Fight we will.” The Slytherin spins him around so that his back is pressed against his chest. Pressing a kiss to his temple, the two of them stand in silence, watching the rain slow to a drizzle.

“You know, they’re saying the school’s gonna close.” Phil murmurs.

Dan scoffs. “They’re always saying the school’s gonna close.”

“And if it does?”

“…My family’s got property up in Manchester. I’m sure we can give it to the Order as a safe house, if my parents haven’t already offered it.”

“Alright. And if it doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll come back. And we’ll train. And we’ll win.”

“Together?”

“Together.”

The arms around Phil’s waist tighten. Outside, the rain trickles down the glass walls like tears.


	7. Seventh Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the corner of his eye, Dan spots a Death Eater turn towards them, raising his wand towards Phil’s back.
> 
> He blanches. “Duck!”

The castle is going up in flames.

Dan feels the searing heat of it, his robes sticking to his skin as he darts through the halls. He’s panting, lungs burning as they fill with smoke. His hair is plastered against his damp forehead and his legs threaten to give out with every step, but the Slytherin doesn’t dare stop to catch his breath – not when Phil’s gone missing.

“PHIL! _PHIL_ , WHERE ARE YOU?!”

His shouts mingle with those of his fellow classmates pushing past him in mobs. Dan can’t tell whether they’re trying to fight back or escape. Either way, it’s fruitless.

The walls are crumbling around him. Bright flashes of light cut through the smog. He shoves through the crowd and into another corridor, scanning the area for any sign of the other boy.

“PHIL!!”

The school had descended into chaos minutes after Professor Snape’s disappearance; McGonagall and the other teachers had hastily set up defense barriers, illuminating the night sky with their protective charms. Suits of armor suddenly sprang to life throughout the school, marching down the castle stairs in droves. Students who were too young or unwilling to fight were ordered to leave the castle, and Dumbledore’s Army was tasked with helping evacuate their classmates.

Dan skids around the corner, jumping across piles of debris to sprint through another hallway. That had been the last time he’d seen Phil; the Hufflepuff had gone to alert the rest of his house about the evacuation.

 But then Death Eaters had materialized onto the school grounds, with even more foul beings coming from beyond the Dark Forest; The Dark Lord had arrived, and the battle of Hogwarts had begun.

The Slytherin ducks as a jet of green light shoots past his head, wincing at the ear-piercing scream that comes from behind him. Tears prickle in his eyes; he should’ve never let him out of his _sight_. It’s been two hours since Phil left, and he’s never been more terrified in his life.

There’s madness all around him, students and teachers alike battling creatures he’s only ever seen in his worst nightmares. Dan catches sight of his Potions partner lying motionless on the ground and feels like he’s going to be sick. He needs to find Phil and get them to safety – that’s all that matters now.

“PHIL?! PHIL!!”

“DAN!!”

Whipping his head around, Dan catches sight of his boyfriend sprinting towards him, dodging past the bodies and debris that lay strewn about the hallway. The Slytherin’s legs nearly give out in relief and he lunges forward, pulling him behind a pillar and embracing him tightly.

The screams of his fellow classmates are still ringing in his ears and the castle walls are crumbling around him, but Phil is _safe_. Phil is _alive_.

“I thought I lost you,” He whispers, clutching him closer.

Phil lets out a breathless chuckle against his shoulder, and Dan feels the sound reverberate through his body. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, Howell.” He pulls back, cupping Dan’s face to wipe away tears he doesn’t remember crying. The Slytherin leans into his touch before grabbing his hand.

“C’mon, we have to leave. _Now_.”

“Wait-“

Dan pulls him back into the corridor, weaving through the throng of students trying to find their own way out. Another flash of light zings through the air above them, and suddenly the paintings begin to topple off the wall, falling to the floor with a loud _crack_. The sound makes Dan’s flesh crawl. He curses under his breath, making a sharp right and guiding them through a different hallway.

 Behind him, he feels Phil’s grip start to slacken.

“Dan, hold on –“

“Phil, we literally don’t have _time_ to hold on, we need to-“

“I thought we were going to help fight-“

“There’s nothing else we can do, we need to leave-“

“But, Dan-“

“We are going to _DIE_ if we stay-“

“No, _stop!_ ”

Dan yelps as he’s suddenly pulled backwards, turning to face the other boy incredulously. Phil’s paler than usual, fringe falling in front of his face. He looks around frantically before pulling Dan into a nearby closet, shutting the door behind them and engulfing them in darkness.

The screams of terror from outside are muffled by the thick wood and Dan wills his heart to stop racing, pulling out his wand and casting a faint light within the room. 

“Phillip Michael Lester, I swear to God-“

“The first year Hufflepuffs-” Phil pants out. His face looks gaunt. “I saw a group of them stranded in the Transfiguration room while I was looking for you.”

Dan gapes at him. “Wait, wha- _no_ , McGonagall said the evacuation was done.”

“Well it isn’t, I’m positive. We have to go back.”

“Are you _mad_?” Dan huffs. “Look, I know they’re your housemates and all, but there’s Death Eaters crawling all over the place, and going back in there is just asking to be killed-“

“Dan! What do you want me to do, just leave them?” Phil replies indignantly. “Look, the Transfiguration room isn’t that far from here, so I’ll just go grab them and meet you-“ He reaches for the door handle and Dan grabs his hand.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait…” The Slytherin looks at his boyfriend. Phil’s mask of bravery does nothing to hide his fear; his eyes slip shut and Dan can feel him trembling. Reaching down, he grabs Phil’s hand and strokes his thumb against his skin. “Hey, look at me. It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here, I’m right here…”

The Hufflepuff blinks, eyes wider than usual. “I’m not gonna leave them, Dan.”

There’s a strong sense of resolve behind Phil’s voice that Dan knows even he can’t overpower. With a sigh, he hands his wand to Phil before reaching out and unknotting his tie, pulling the yellow fabric from underneath the dirty sweater.

“What are you do-“

“If we’re going to do this,” Dan says firmly, wrenching off his own tie and slipping it around Phil’s head. “We’re going to be smart about it, okay?”  He takes his wand back and pushes his hair out of his eyes. “Chances are most of those Death Eaters have kids in Slytherin, so you’re better off looking like one of them. You need to be extra careful.” The thought of Phil lying on the floor flashes through Dan’s mind, blue eyes glassy and unseeing. He swallows hard and forces himself to focus. “How many kids were in Transfiguration?”

Phil squints in concentration. “Umm, four. I think. But Dan, what about you? You need be safe-“

“Don’t worry about me,” Dan interrupts. “I’ll be fine. I’ve probably spent the holidays with those bastards, you know how Slytherins are. We just need to grab those kids and go, okay? Nothing else. Hopefully Aberforth will let us in-“

“No,” Phil shakes his head vigorously. “We can’t get out through there. Room of Requirement’s completely demolished, someone’s set the whole thing on fire.”

Dan huffs. “Shit. Um...”  A blood-curdling screech comes from behind the door and both boys jump. Phil squeaks in fear, hand grappling at Dan’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay, okay,” The Slytherin runs a hand over his face, thinking quickly. “We’ll just bring them back to my common room.  Okay? The rest of my house is either fighting or gone, right? We can just hide in there until the coast is clear. Make sure you take off their ties, we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. We just need to pass as a couple of Slytherins getting the younger ones to safety, and we’ll be fine. Got it?”

Phil nods, then reaches out to hug Dan tightly. “Thank you.”

“What did I tell you? ‘Together’, remember?” He feels Phil smile against his shoulder, and he presses a kiss to his temple. They pull apart, and the Slytherin swallows thickly. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Gripping Phil’s hand once more, Dan takes a deep breath and shoves the door open. “Run!”

The pair of them fly out of the closet, nearly colliding with another group of students running in the opposite direction. They race back through the corridor, sprinting past friends and foes alike and keeping low to avoid any wayward hexes.

Phil pushes through the crowd and guides him up the staircase.  Dan can feel the Hufflepuff’s pulse through his wrist, the erratic beat nearly matching his own. He’s taking the stairs two at a time when a chill suddenly washes over him.

Dan stumbles, gasping; it’s like every emotion he’s experiencing – the terror, the anxiety, the panic – has been replaced with a cold numbness that courses through his veins like ice water. It’s like he’s falling through space, a sinking feeling in his stomach that makes his heart fly into his throat and his eyes slip shut.  It’s like all the happiness in the world has drained away, leaving nothing but the icy sting of dread and hopelessness.

 In his peripheral, Dan sees a hooded figure rise from below, its dark cloak shielding its face.

He pants for breath, whipping around to face it as his fingers fumbling for his wand, but his mouth is so dry he can’t even scream for help. His other hand slackens its grip on Phil and suddenly he’s falling backwards, catching himself on the bannister. The dementor looms closer; his heart stops. He closes his eyes tightly.

 _“Expecto Patronum!”_ A jet of silver light flashes past his eyelids, and Dan blinks in surprise. A silver deer stands guard over him, the patronus positioning itself between Dan and the dementor. Turning his head, the Slytherin looks up to see Phil – his wand is pointed towards them, eyes wide but determined. The dementor moves forward and Dan flinches, but the deer charges ahead and it retreats, cloak billowing behind him.

Dan lets out a shaky groan, the breath rushing back into his body. “Jesus Chri-“

“Come on!” A pair of hands haul him to his feet before he can finish, and then they’re moving again, Phil tugging him up the stairs with fervor.

The fight is in full swing on the second floor. Curses hurl above their heads as he and Phil push through the hallway. Dan stomach feels like it’s made of lead, eyes darting back in forth for any sign of Death Eaters waiting to attack.

He’s already exhausted, but he follows the Hufflepuff towards the Transfiguration room, wincing at every terrified scream and painful moan he hears. Putting Phil in a Slytherin tie proves to be more successful than he actually thought it would be; they make it to the door without harm. Dan reaches for the knob and gives it a twist, but the door won’t budge. Glancing at Phil, he leans back before throwing his whole body weight against it.

 A loud crash echoes from behind the door and Dan’s eyes widen, head whipping around to make sure they haven’t caught anyone’s attention. Phil grabs the knob and pushes it open, shoving Dan inside before closing it behind him.

The room is pitch black. Chairs and tables are scattered around them, no doubt used as a means of barricading the door closed. The air is silent, and Dan can hear his footsteps as he and Phil scour the room cautiously. He gulps nervously.

“…Hello?” Phil whispers, breaking the silence. “Are you guys still in here? Don’t worry, it’s just me, it’s Phil.”

A flash of lighting illuminates the room, and a crack of thunder soon follows. Dan’s hair stands on edge. He’s about to grab Phil and haul him out when a timid voice calls out from behind the curtain.

“…Phil..?”

The Hufflepuff sprints to the window, pulling back the drapes to reveal four little first years. Dan sees that all four of them are wearing the same yellow tie he’d taken off moments before in the closet and sighs in relief, watching Phil kneel down to pull them in for a hug.

 The sight makes his heart sting; he should’ve known that not even the Dark Lord’s arrival could keep Phil from protecting the ones he loved. There was no point in trying to stop him.

Another crackle of thunder pulls Dan out of his reverie. “Phil. We _need_ to go.”

Phil turns towards him and nods. “Right.” He stands up and looks down at the four younger students. “Okay, guys, we’re going to get you out of here, but you have to listen to me and Dan, okay? First, give me your ties – James, Sara… c’mon Molly... _Winston, you can buy a new one_ , _geez_ – okay, now hold on to each other and stay close, alright? We’re going to the dungeons.”

One of the little girls hiccups. “What are we going to do once we get to the dungeons? Can’t the Death Eaters still find us there?” A great crash comes from behind the door and she screams, burrowing closer into Phil. He holds her close, shushing her cries, before glancing at Dan.

The Slytherin bites him lip. “…I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge if we get there, I guess.”

“ _When_ we get there.” Dan looks at his boyfriend. His mouth is set, but his eyes are filled with worry. “We’re going to be fine. Right, Dan?”

Dan swallows and nods. “Right. Nothing to worry about.” He flashes a quick smile towards the younger Hufflepuffs. “Stay close, yeah? Let’s go.”

Phil ushers them ahead and pulls his wand out again, squeezing Dan’s hand as he passes. Dan follows suit, and together they creep their way back to the door. Glancing back at Phil, he cracks the door open and shimmies out, eyes darting up and down the hallway as the Hufflepuffs made their exit.

Blood is pounding in Dan’s ears; all around him is death and destruction, with no end in sight. His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest - there’s no guarantee they’ll make it out of this alive. As Phil comes out of the room, Dan grabs him by the hand and pulls him close, kissing him hard.

It’s quick and hurried, but they’re both breathless when they break apart. Dan leans forward, his forehead touching Phil’s. “I love you _so_ much. Just wanted to let you know, in case…in case...”

“I love you, too.” Phil whispers back. “And we’re going to be okay. We’ve got this. _You’ve_ got this. Now, lead the way.”

Dan pulls back to look at him. The worry he had seen before was now replaced with hope and determination; Phil believed in him. The Slytherin kisses him once more before heading to the front of the line.

 They were going to make it – he’s going to make sure of that.

Taking one of the girls by the hand, Dan leads them down the corridor, wand at the ready. They stick close to the wall, diving behind piles of rubble and hiding in the shadows until they can dart past the fighters.

Dan’s panting with exhaustion. They’ve almost made it to the staircase when he hears someone shrieking behind him. He whips around; one of the Hufflepuffs had tripped over a body. Dan watches as Phil scoops her up, cradling her between his arms and murmuring words of comfort.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan spots a Death Eater turn towards them, raising his wand towards Phil’s back.

He blanches. “Duck!”

Phil crouches down and a purple stream of light flies over his body. The Slytherin jumps out of the way while the rest of the students dive behind a fallen statue. The hex hits the far wall, cracking the marble and stone in two. Dan scrambles to his feet and points his wand.

“ _Impedimenta!_ ”

The Death Eater flies back, crashing against another cloaked figure. Dan reaches forward to grab Phil by his sweater.

“Go- go- go- _go- go!_ ”

The six of them barrel down the staircase, throwing caution to the wind in favor of reaching safety as fast as possible. Dan’s casting spells left and right, pure adrenaline fueling his actions. Behind him, he can hear Phil doing the same thing, their shouts echoing throughout the great halls that have been reduced to dust and ruin.

 The screams and wails fade in the distance as they head deeper into the castle – by the time they reach the entrance to the Slytherin common room, it’s almost silent.

Dan mutters the password, ushering them inside as soon as the dungeon door swings open. The common room is empty, and he reckons the rest of the house is too; his housemates were either outside fighting, running, or dead. He shuts the door and enchants it sealed before collapsing on the couch with a groan. He hears Phil comforting the other students, coaxing them towards the fireplace to warm up.

Dan sighs in relief, his eyes closing in exhaustion. They made it. He doesn’t know _how_ , but they made it. His heart is still pounding from fear.

Something taps at his shoulder and he cracks an eye open. One of the little Hufflepuff boys stands beside the couch, eyes wide with worry. Dan sits up quickly, concerned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

The Hufflepuff sniffles, wiping his nose. “Are we gonna be okay?”

Dan bites his lip. He thinks about the familiar faces now strewn about the castle, lifeless. He thinks about his classmates and mentors giving their lives to fight back against the darkness that has consumed the wizarding world for as long as he can remember. He thinks about the evil that is yet to come, the final battle that is far from over.

A quiet laugh from across the room causes Dan to glance towards the fireplace. Phil sits amongst the first years, complimenting them on their bravery and encouraging them not to lose hope. He looks up and catches Dan’s eye, smiling softly.

Dan smiles back.  He turns towards the little boy and ruffles his hair. They were alive. They were safe. They were together.

That’s all that matters.

“Yeah. We’re gonna be okay.”


End file.
